Look, Lee. You just got broken up with. You’re SINGLE.
SINGLE.
You’re free now, man. Come on out with us tonight. It’ll be great.
We’ll pre-game at Rick’s house until Greg gets off of his shift. Greg is going to drive because he has work tomorrow. But we’ll head out to Fyre at, like, 10. Come on, dude.
We’ll get shots, and we’ll get Greg to have one, but he’ll stick to water after that, ‘cause he has a girlfriend. And we’ll just stand by the bar and nod at girls. Dude, I’ll buy your cover if you come. Please. It’ll take your mind off of Emily.
There are so many hot girls at Fyre, and we’ll nod at them. At one point, Rick will try to dance with one, she’ll turn him down, and we’ll laugh at his loser ass. And the whole night I’ll tell you that you should go dance with that girl that you said looked sexy, and it’ll annoy the shit out of you, and it’ll be so fun. And you’ll check your phone every ten minutes to see if Emily texted you, but it’ll turn out that that vibration you thought you felt was nothing.
None of us will be drunk enough yet to go talk to those ladies over there, and we’ll sip our Bud Lights slowly enough to keep it that way. We won’t be drunk enough at 11, and we won’t be drunk enough at 12, and we’ll need one more drink at 1, when they leave, and we’ll be all like “Damn, man. You should’ve said something. One of them was staring at you.” And we’ll nod at them and make a single funny comment as they collect their debit cards from the bartender.
And then we’ll all go home at 2. Come on, man. You’re SINGLE.
Awesome! I’ll text Rick.
